So, the patio was looking grim. Seriously grim. Green stuff growing everywhere, dirt caked on from who knows when. I looked at it and thought, no way am I scrubbing that by hand again. Did that last year, took forever, backache for days.

Thought about getting a proper pressure washer, but man, those things are pricey. And bulky. Where would I even store it? Then I saw one of those ads, you know, the ones that pop up everywhere. Pressure washer attachment for your garden hose! Turns your regular hose into a cleaning machine! Yeah, right. Looked cheap, probably rubbish.

But, well, it wasn't expensive. Like, twenty bucks or something. Cheaper than renting a real one, definitely cheaper than buying one. So I figured, what the heck, let's give it a try. Couldn't hurt. Ordered it online, arrived a few days later in a flimsy box.

Getting it Ready

Pulled it out. Just a metal tube, basically, with a couple of brass nozzle tips – one pinpoint, one fan spray – and a connector for the hose. Felt okay, not super cheap plastic, but not heavy-duty either. Connecting it was simple enough, just screwed onto the end of my garden hose. Had to tighten it quite a bit, though, because it leaked at first. Typical.

Turned on the tap. Water came out. Okay, step one complete.

The Big Test - Or Not So Big

I pointed it at the dirty paving stones. Used the pinpoint nozzle first, thinking that would be the strongest. And... well, it made a slightly stronger jet of water than my usual hose nozzle on the 'jet' setting. Slightly.

Did it blast the green stuff off? Sort of. If I held it super close, like an inch away, and went really slowly, it would cut a little line through the grime. But calling it a pressure washer? Nah. Not even close. My thumb over the end of the hose does a better job sometimes.

• Tried the fan nozzle. Even less pressure. Good for maybe rinsing soap off the car, but cleaning baked-on dirt? Forget it.
• Went back to the pinpoint. Spent maybe ten minutes on one small square foot of patio. Barely made a dent.
• My arm started aching from holding the hose trigger down.

It just doesn't have the power. It can't. It's using the pressure from your tap, right? A real pressure washer has a pump, an engine or motor, that's where the power comes from. This thing is just a fancy nozzle. It focuses the water stream a bit, that's all.

So, the patio? Ended up borrowing my neighbor's actual petrol pressure washer the next weekend. Now THAT shifted the grime. Took like an hour for the whole thing. The hose attachment? It's back in its flimsy box, probably going to end up in the bin next time I clear out the shed.

It wasn't completely useless, I guess. It could maybe clean loose dust off garden furniture or rinse the car wheel wells. But a pressure washer it ain't. Just another gadget that promises a lot and delivers very little. Save your twenty bucks, put it towards renting a proper machine if you need serious cleaning done. Or just use your thumb over the hosepipe, it's free.