Alright, so let me tell you about this whole "pure pressure power washing" thing I got myself into the other weekend. My patio, man, it was looking like something out of a horror movie. Green slime, black streaks, the whole nine yards. I swear, things were starting to grow on it that I didn't recognize. We'd been talking about getting someone in, but you know how it is, quotes were all over the place, and I figured, how hard can it be, right?

Getting Started, or So I Thought

So, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Borrowed a pressure washer from my brother-in-law. He said, "It's easy, just point and shoot." Yeah, famous last words. First off, getting that beast into my car, then out again, was a workout in itself. Thing weighed a ton. Then came hooking it up. Hose on, check. Power cord, check. Fiddled with the nozzles – he gave me like, five different ones. Who knew there were so many ways to spray water?

I picked one that looked kinda medium-strength. Turned the water on. Pulled the trigger. And BAM! Water everywhere. Mostly on me, to be honest. The kickback was way stronger than I expected. My wife was watching from the window, probably having a good laugh. I can imagine. Took me a good ten minutes just to get a feel for how to stand and aim the darn thing without soaking myself or blasting the garden gnomes into next week.

The Actual "Pure Pressure" Part

Once I got the hang of it, though, wow. It was kinda satisfying, I gotta admit. That jet of water, just pure pressure, was literally peeling away years of grime. You could see the clean concrete emerging from under all that muck. It was like one of those cleaning videos you see online, but, you know, real life and a lot messier.

I started with the worst spots. That green algae stuff? Gone. Those weird black patches? Obliterated. It was like magic, but noisy, wet magic. I learned pretty quick that you gotta keep the nozzle moving. Stay in one spot too long, and you can actually etch the concrete. Almost made that mistake near the steps. Close call.

• Figured out the wider fan nozzle was best for the main areas. Covered more ground.
• That super-pointy nozzle? Good for getting into cracks, but man, you gotta be careful. Nearly took a chunk out of a loose paver.
• Learned that overlapping your passes makes for a more even clean. Took a bit to get that rhythm down.

The Aftermath and What I Learned

So, after a good few hours of this, I was soaked. My back ached. My hands were vibrating from holding that wand. The patio, though? Looked brand new. Seriously, the difference was incredible. But here's the kicker: the surrounding area was a disaster zone. Mud splattered up the walls, dirty water pooled everywhere. The cleanup after the cleaning was almost as much work!

So, yeah, "pure pressure power washing." It gets the job done, no doubt. But it ain't no walk in the park. You're wrestling with a powerful machine. You're gonna get dirty. You're gonna get wet. And you better believe you're gonna be tired afterwards.

Would I do it again? Probably. There's something about seeing that instant result. But next time, I'm wearing full waterproofs, maybe even a helmet. And I'm definitely moving all the potted plants much, much further away. It's a proper job, this pressure washing. Not just pointing and shooting, not by a long shot. You're really working with that raw power, and you gotta respect it, otherwise, it'll make a fool outta ya, or at least a very wet one.