My Journey to Nailing Pressure Washing

So, you wanna know about getting things really clean with a pressure washer? Lemme tell ya, it ain't always as simple as point and shoot, no matter what those ads show. I learned that the hard way, believe me.

My patio, man, it was a disaster. Years of grime, moss trying to start a new civilization in the cracks, the whole shebang. Looked like something out of a swamp movie. I’d tried scrubbing it before, broke my back and it still looked sad. So, I figured, "Alright, pressure washer time. How hard can it be?" Famous last words, right?

First, I borrowed my brother-in-law’s machine. Thing looked like it fought in a war and barely survived. Got it started, finally, after yanking the cord about a hundred times. Felt like I’d done a full workout already. And the noise! My dog started howling, the cat vanished, probably halfway to the next county.

Here’s where it got messy. I just grabbed a nozzle, aimed, and let 'er rip.

• First thing, I blasted a chunk of grout right out from between two paving stones. Whoops.
• Then, I got a face full of muddy water. Yeah, real attractive. My wife was watching from the window, trying not to laugh. I could see her.
• I was also carving lines into the softer stones because I was holding it too close, using too narrow a spray. Looked like I was trying to write my name, badly.

I was about ready to give up, chuck the machine into the pond. But I’m stubborn. So, I actually, like, looked at the other nozzles. Duh. There was one that fanned out the water more. Game changer, sort of.

What I really figured out, through a lot of trial and mostly error, was this:

• Start gentle. Don’t go full Rambo on it straight away. Test a small, hidden spot. Seriously.
• Keep moving. Don't linger on one spot too long, especially with a powerful setting or a narrow nozzle. That’s how you dig holes or leave stripes. Sweep it, nice and even.
• The right distance is key. Too close, you damage stuff. Too far, you're just giving it a light shower. You gotta find that sweet spot.
• Overlap your passes. Like mowing the lawn, you know? So you don’t get those annoying missed strips.
• Sometimes, a bit of pre-soak with a cleaner helps, especially on really stubborn gunk. I just used some simple green stuff. Let it sit a bit, then blasted it.

Took me pretty much all Saturday, and I was soaked to the bone, covered in who-knows-what. But man, when I finally rinsed it all down, and that patio actually looked like a patio again… It was pretty darn satisfying. Like, I actually achieved something, you know? It wasn't "perfect" like some professional job, maybe, but it was my perfect. Clean, finally.

So yeah, that’s my pressure washing saga. It’s more about patience and not being an idiot with the settings than anything else. And maybe wear some goggles. Just a thought.