How Long Does Pressure Washing a House Take? My Messy Adventure

Alright folks, let me tell ya straight up – pressure washing my house was way more of a beast than I thought. I figured, "Hey, how hard can spraying water be?" Famous last words. Grab a coffee, this got long.

First thing Saturday morning, I dragged out my brother’s old pressure washer. Thing weighed a ton. Hooked it up to the garden hose – easy peasy, right? Wrong. The quick-connect fitting was crusty as heck. Ended up wrestling with wrenches, spraying myself in the face trying to get it sealed. Already sweating buckets. 10 AM: Finally ready to start. Felt like I’d run a marathon already.

Started on the back siding. Pointed the nozzle, pulled the trigger. Woah! Chunks of ancient green gunk flew everywhere – straight into my nice flower beds. Crap. So much for careful prep. Adjusted the spray pattern to wider fan. Still too strong. Water ricocheted off the vinyl siding hard, soaking my legs and shoes within minutes. Tip learned early: Wear crappy old boots.

The first section took forever. Moss hiding in panel grooves? Stubborn buggers. Had to go slow, angled the tip real careful. Kept stepping back to see if I missed spots. Tripped over the hose twice. My arms were burning from holding the stupid heavy wand. 11:30 AM: Covered maybe a quarter of the back wall. Slower than watching paint dry.

Got into a rhythm around lunch. Switched to the detergent tank. Squirted soap along the bottom sections. Had to wait 15 minutes for it to cling and work. Got ambitious. Tried blasting the patio slabs while waiting. HUGE mistake. The runoff mixed the soap into muddy soup that flowed straight onto my neighbor’s yard. He came out staring at his muddy grass patches. Mortified. Took me ten minutes apologizing. Lesson: Check slope drainage BEFORE spraying.

Afternoon sun got brutal. Engine on the washer started overheating. Had to shut it down every 30 minutes, letting it cool off. Lost so much time. Focused on ground level stuff next. Sidewalk and driveway edges. Stuck gum, oil stains? Forget it. They ain’t budging. Accept defeat gracefully. 3 PM: Sweaty, sunburnt neck, smelling faintly of mold and regret.

Front of the house seemed quicker… til I hit the tall peak above the porch. Couldn’t reach even with the extension wand. Ended up jerry-rigging the wand to a painting pole with duct tape. Felt like a mad inventor. Worked shockingly well for five minutes. Then the tape gave out. Wand hit the deck with a loud clang. Thankfully didn’t break. Just my pride.

Finally wrapped up rinsing around 5 PM. Nearly 8 hours start-to-finish. And that’s not counting:

• 45 minutes untangling hoses & arguing with fittings.
• 30 minutes cleaning my muddy mess outta the neighbor's grass.
• Way too much time hunting for the "right" nozzle settings.
• Breaks for cold drinks and whimpering about sore shoulders.

House looks noticeably brighter. Siding grime is gone. Driveway edges look decent. But honestly? Feels like I fought a mud monster and kinda lost. Took longer, drained me harder, and created more chaos than I ever imagined. Maybe hire someone next time? Or just learn to love the grunge.

Bottom line: If you’ve got a small place, good gear, and know what you're doing? 2-4 hours. For a stressed-out rookie like me tackling an average house with old equipment? Plan the whole dang day. And maybe bake an apology cake for the neighbors first.