Okay so my daycare center's ball pit got hit hard last week. Like, some kid apparently thought it was a great idea to dump an entire bowl of neon orange slushie in there? Don't ask me. Point is, I had over a thousand filthy, sticky plastic balls staring at me.

First thing I did? The old way. BIG mistake. Tried washing by hand in the bathtub. Just dumped about half the balls in with some soap. Total disaster.

• Got soaked. Permanently sticky hands.
• Took AGES just for like 200 balls. Had to scrub each one? Yeah, no.
• Drying was impossible. Laid them on towels, spent hours flipping them over, still found damp ones days later. They started smelling funky.

Right then, I knew I needed a machine. Ain't nobody got time for this.

The Research Phase (aka Falling Down the Rabbit Hole)

Hopped online. Typed "clean ball pit balls machine". Hoooo boy, overload.

• Saw those mesh bags you throw in the washer? Reviews basically screamed "DON'T DO IT!" Apparently balls fly everywhere inside, wreck the machine, and still don't even get clean.
• Found some weird giant net contraptions meant to go in pools? Looked like more trouble than it's worth.
• Stumbled on these "ball cleaning cages" for washing machines. Reviews were mixed. Some said okay, others said "it leaked my balls into the drum and blocked the pump". Not risking my washer!

Panicked a bit. Then I saw folks mentioning dedicated ball pit ball cleaners. Like, machines just for this! Went deep looking.

The "Cleaning Power" Experiment

Finally narrowed it down to two types everyone kept talking about:

• Type 1: Smaller, cheaper, kinda looks like a square bucket with a spinner paddle inside. Reviews said "okay for light cleaning maybe". My balls were slushie monsters, not lightly soiled.
• Type 2: Bigger, bulkier, pricier. Looked meaner. Had a proper basket inside that spins hard. Lots of folks said "yeah, this one handles the really gross stuff". Had my attention.

Bought the bigger, meaner one. Called it "The Beast". Needed results.

Operation: Slushie Annihilation

Day came. Nervous. Here's how it went down:

1. Set "The Beast" up in the garage (it needs a hose hookup, messy business).
2. Dumped the entire gross load in (maybe 1200 balls). Filled it to the max line.
3. Poured in this special ball cleaner solution the machine maker recommended – smells like powerful bubblegum hospital cleaner.
4. Hooked up the garden hose. Locked the lid. Said a little prayer.
5. Punched the button. THIS THING ROCKS. The sound! Like a jet engine wrestling with marbles. Spins crazy fast.
6. Watched through the window. Murky orange water instantly. Balls were getting the workout of their lives.
7. After 15 minutes (per the program), it automatically drains. Then spins super fast just to fling water off.

Unlocked the lid... held my breath...

• Balls were spotless. Like, factory-level clean.
• Dry! Seriously 95% dry just from the spin. Huge win.
• Total time: 20 minutes. From dump-in to clean-up. Hands stayed dry.

Final thoughts? That bathtub method is for masochists. If you have a ball pit bigger than a laundry basket, buy the big dedicated machine. Yeah, it costs more, but you will save your sanity. It just plain works. Fast. Easy. Effective. Worth every penny when your balls look like they lost a fight with a rainbow.