My basement nightmare and the tube cleaner hunt

Man, those dang dryer tubes looked like a horror movie down in the basement. Couldn't put it off anymore. So I figured, let's buy a tube cleaning machine. Easy, right? Wrong.

First sticker shock hit hard

Started searching online like anyone would. Typed in "tube cleaning machine cost" and choked on my coffee. Those fancy brand-new ones? They wanted more than my first car! Seriously, $3,000 to $8,000? For plastic and a spinning brush? Forget that.

Flipping to Plan B - digging for deals

Okay, time for a smarter approach. Hit up the local classifieds. Scrolled forever. Saw plenty, but most were either total junk or way overpriced. Felt like looking for a needle in a haystack.

My cheap or not rules:
• Rule one: Nothing busted beyond fixing. I ain't no mechanic.
• Rule two: Price gotta be way, way less than new. We talking under $800 max.
• Rule three: Seller can't be creepy. Trust the gut.

Found this guy named Bob selling an old "MightySpin Pro" model. He wanted $550. Pictures looked okay, said it ran fine but looked rough. Haggled him down to $400 cash. Felt like a win.

The reality check pickup

Drove out to Bob's farm. Place smelled like motor oil and hay. The machine looked rode hard and put away wet. Surface rust, paint chipped, but… the motor started on the first pull. Surprised me. Smoked a bit and sounded like an angry beehive, but it worked. Forked over the cash and wrestled it into my truck.

First attempt and epic fail

Got it home, all psyched to tackle those dryer tubes. Plugged it in near the washer hookup. Started feeding the cleaning head down the big exhaust pipe. Got about 10 feet when BAM! Loud clanking noise. Shut it off fast.

Pulled the head back up. Two of the little brush arms were snapped clean off. Cheap plastic junk inside! That thing was packed with years of lint dust and god knows what else. Gunk city.

Then my stupid boss calls right then. Emergency weekend work thing. Couldn't even finish fixing it that day. Stuck the machine in the garage corner, broken and sad. Felt so mad.

The parrot disaster strikes

Next morning, found our dumb parrot, Pistachio, chewing on one of the broken brush arms! Stole it from the garage while the door was cracked. Little green menace actually swallowed pieces. Panic mode. Rushed Pistachio to the expensive emergency vet.

One disgruntled vet bill later ($350!), bird was okay. Wifey was NOT happy. Said the stupid tube machine was cursed and had to go.

My janky fix it solution

Felt determined. Wasn't gonna let that $400 beat me. Went down hardware store aisle seven. Bought:

• A small metal gear ($7)
• Super heavy zip ties ($5)
• The strongest epoxy glue they had ($8)

Spent a sweaty Saturday afternoon:

1. Glued the broken nubs back on the head
2. Reinforced the heck out of them with about a dozen zip ties
3. Hammered that new metal gear onto the shaft where the old one cracked

Looked like Frankenstein's monster, all zip ties and glue blobs.

Did it work? Kinda.

Plugged it in again. Held my breath. This time, it made its loud angry bee noise and… didn't explode. Kept feeding it slowly, nervously. Felt every vibration. But no snaps, no clanks. Slowly worked through all the basement tubes. Pulled out buckets of disgusting lint sludge.

It vibrated itself halfway across the floor, sounded terrifying, and smelled like hot plastic afterwards, but the tubes are clean now. Cleaner than they've been in years. Cost me roughly $770 total (bird included). Learned to NEVER trust cheap plastic internals, and always lock the garage door.