Got sick of paying $20 for store-bought car cleaner crap that barely works? Yeah same. So here's exactly what I did last Sunday afternoon with junk from my garage.

Started With Utter Trash

Dug around under the sink like a raccoon hunting dinner. Found:

• Empty windex bottle covered in dust bunnies
• Half-empty dish soap - generic dollar store stuff
• White vinegar bottle crusty around the cap
• Baking soda box leaking powder everywhere

The Glorious Mixing Disaster

Step 1: Rinsed that gross spray bottle. Leftover blue gunk stuck under the nozzle - scraped it off with a screwdriver. Classy.

Step 2: Poured like two inches of vinegar straight into the bottle. Smelled like pickles. Oops.

Step 3: Squeezed that cheap soap until bubbles exploded everywhere. Counter looked like a foam party. Wiped it up with my shirt.

Step 4: Shook baking soda into the mess. Added too much. Powder volcano erupted. Coughing fit for five minutes.

Step 5: Slammed warm water into the bottle until full. Screwed cap on tight. Shook that sucker like my life depended on it.

Garage Lab Rat Time

Took the frankenstein cleaner outside to my truck’s door. That door had bird crap fossilized since last summer. Sprayed my mixture directly onto the dried poop crater. Heard a faint sizzle? Maybe imagined it. Waited three minutes while scratching my butt.

Grabbed an old microfiber rag - the kind gas stations give away for free. Wiped sideways. Bird crap sludge slid right off like melting ice cream. Didn’t even scrub. Stared at clean paint for like a full minute. Felt like a god.

Tried it on greasy tire rims next. Sprayed. Watched grime dissolve like sugar in water. Just… washed away with the hose. No wheel brush needed.

Key Takeaways From My Mess

• It costs pennies: Seriously just free leftover junk!
• Works stupid fast: Cuts through crud while you yawn
• Don't breathe fumes: Vinegar smell punches your nose hard. Open windows first.
• Wear gloves: Made my fingers pruney and stinky

Yeah it ain’t “premium”. Your car won’t smell like pine trees. But for lifting actual filth? This trash concoction beats shiny bottles costing twenty bucks. Saving money feels damn good.