Last weekend I decided it was time to give my beach cleaner some TLC after it started coughing up sand during cleanup duty. Grabbed my toolbox and headed down to the garage around sunrise - best time to work before the heat kicks in.

The Breakdown Begins

First thing, I yanked out the collection basket and immediately gagged - smelled like rotten seaweed mixed with dead crabs. Hosed it down hard while scrubbing with baking soda and vinegar. Pro tip: wear gloves unless you want fishy stench on your hands for three days.

Next came the conveyor belt jam. Found a goddamn flipflop chunk wedged in the rollers! Had to unscrew the side panel and pry it out with pliers. While I was in there, spotted some rust creeping on the metal joints.

The Real Maintenance Grind

• Step 1: Took WD-40 to every moving part - rollers, gears, pivot points. Let it soak while I ate lunch.
• Step 2: Scraped off salt crust from the undercarriage with a putty knife. That salty buildup’s worse than concrete!
• Step 3: Swapped out the frayed drive belt (always keep spares since they stretch out fast on dunes).
• Step 4: Greased the wheel axles good and proper - sand gets everywhere like glitter at a craft fair.

The Moment of Truth

Hit the ignition switch expecting fireworks but she purred like a kitten! Took it for a test run on the back lot - scooped gravel like it was hungry for more. Felt like I’d resurrected a diesel-powered phoenix.

Here’s the bare-minimum upkeep I’ll stick to monthly now:

• Hose down EVERYTHING after each use - no excuses
• WD-40 party on all joints every 30 days
• Check belts for cracks before they snap mid-job
• Scrape salt deposits weekly - they eat metal alive

Beach machines ain’t glamorous but treat ‘em right and they’ll outlast your flipflops. Next project: teaching this old beast to pick up microplastics!