Okay so last weekend I tackled this nasty pair of cleats that looked like they’d been through a mud apocalypse. Seriously, they were crusty. Grabbed my cleat cleaner machine - you know, that heavy boxy thing with the brushes inside? Totally winged it first try. Messy.

Step 1: Pre-game setup FAIL

First dumb move: I didn’t knock off the big mud chunks. Just shoved the cleats straight into the machine slots. Big mistake. Heard this awful grinding noise when I hit start - like rocks in a blender. Turned it off real quick, pulled them out. Mud pebbles everywhere inside the machine. Had to wipe it out with an old rag. Rookie move.

Step 2: Actual cleaning (finally)

After scraping off dried gunk with a stick:

• Popped cleats in toe-down like the manual picture showed
• Dropped two caps of cleaner fluid in the little tank slot
• Set timer for 8 minutes - middle setting

When it started humming, I saw brushes spinning through the clear door. Water turned brown immediately. Kinda satisfying watching dirt swirl down the drain hole.

Step 3: Drying disaster

Got impatient after the cycle finished. Yanked them out soaking wet, tried wearing them to walk across the garage. Slipped on concrete and almost ate floor. Lesson: stuff newspaper inside while they air-dry. Took like two days before they weren’t squishy.

Final results

After the machine did its thing? Cleats looked brand freaking new. Like 90% better than scrubbing by hand. Even got dirt out of those impossible little stud grooves. Smell went from dead animal to mild rubber scent. Worth nearly breaking my tailbone.

Key takeaways: Scrub big chunks off first. Use the damn timer. Keep spare towels nearby. And for god's sake, let them dry completely.