Alright folks, let's chat about my new Firbimatic dry cleaning machine adventure. Honestly, this whole thing started 'cause my ancient washer finally gave up the ghost – leaked water everywhere, made noises like a dying cat. Had to do something quick.

The Great Laundry Machine Hunt

Went online looking for a replacement, right? Total jungle out there. Suddenly saw Firbimatic popping up everywhere. Didn't know much about 'em, felt like drinking from a firehose. Figured, hey, might as well deep dive.

Pulled up Firbimatic's site. My first thought? Too many models, man. Like, seriously:

• Some looked like mini rocketships with touchscreens.
• Others were basic boxes with knobs older than my grandma.
• Couldn’t tell which one actually washed clothes versus just looking fancy.

Got overwhelmed, closed the tab. Made coffee.

Actually Trying Stuff Out

Visited a couple appliance shops downtown next day. Poked buttons on a Firbimatic EZClean first – felt flimsy, plastic sounded hollow. Hated it. Sales guy shoved a brochure for the ProMax model in my face. Way too heavy. Felt like I needed to hit the gym just to install it.

Totally forgot to check voltage plugs too. Almost blew a circuit trying the demo model. Sales guy turned white, thought I killed it. Awkward.

The Messy Setup Part

Settled on the MidRange model – middle of the road thing. Delivery dude dumped the box in my garage. Opened it... million parts spilled out. Instructions? Pure hieroglyphics. Took three hours just to stop water pipes leaking. Used half a roll of Teflon tape sweating over it.

Electrical plug didn’t reach! Had to rearrange my entire laundry room. Wife was not happy seeing her "organized" shelves dismantled.

Running the First Load

Threw in my kid’s muddy soccer uniform. Smashed buttons like I knew what I was doing. Chose "Quick Delicates" hoping for the best. Machine started humming. Then it started… dancing? Thing vibrated across the floor like a possessed fridge. Turned out I’d stacked clothes totally lopsided. Rookie mistake. Had to stop it, cursed, redistributed everything.

An hour later? Soccer kit actually looked less muddy. Called that a win.

Stuff That Sucks

Not all smooth sailing though:

• The lint trap location is stupid – gotta kneel and fish blind under the drum.
• "Eco" mode takes literally forever – like watching paint dry.
• Some mystery knob… still figuring out what it actually does. Seems decorative? Who knows.

Annoyed me so much I nearly unscrewed the whole control panel yesterday. Told myself: "Step away, man. Coffee first."

Where I'm At Now

Learned a couple things the hard way:

• Measure your space AND your outlets. Twice.
• Don't trust flashy features. Does it actually clean stuff? That’s the real question.
• Budget for random accessories – needed special hoses they didn’t mention anywhere.

Wish I’d found simpler guides. All those expert reviews sounded like rocket science. I’m just a guy with dirty socks.

Still adjusting settings. Neighbors probably hate the spin cycle noise. Cats definitely do – they bolt whenever it starts. Jury’s still out on this Firbimatic beast, honestly. It works? Sure. It’s perfect? Nah. We’ll see.