Okay, so folks asked me to break down rice cleaner costs since my stupid farm needed one. Let me walk you through this nightmare search step by step.

Why I even started digging

See, last harvest my rice looked like it rolled through a garbage dump. Pebbles, husks, you name it in those bags. Manual cleaning? Nah, that'd take forever. So I hauled ass to town first thing Monday morning asking around.

Cheapest options - my wallet smiled

Went straight to Wang's Secondhand Ag Store. Dude shows me this tiny foot-pedal cleaner from the 90s. Thing's rustier than my uncle's truck. But get this - only $50! Couldn't even test it 'cause it's missing parts. Walked out fast.

Then checked eBay's knockoff section. Found Chinese mini-cleaners shipped in sketchy boxes. $130-$180 range, claims it cleans 50kg/hour. Reviews said it dies after 5 batches. One guy's video showed sparks flying out - nope.

Mid-range stuff that won't kill you

Local co-op rents out cleaners! $300 deposit plus $15/hour. Grabbed it for a 3-day trial last month. Worked decent until it jammed every half hour. Guy says "eh, happens". Cleaned my rice okay-ish but wasted hours unclogging.

• Portable electric cleaner ($400): Looks like a fancy blender. Cleans 100kg/hour but shoots rice everywhere
• Vietnamese model ($650): Weird metal contraption with no manuals. Seller says "just add oil"

When I almost mortgaged my house

Visited this fancy ag showroom. Italian stainless steel monster costs $12,000 - yeah, no typo. Felt like a spaceship with touchscreens. Sales dude kept saying "investment!" while I calculated kidney prices.

Japanese one was worse: $18,500! But damn… single button operation, cleans 800kg/hour, even sorts grains by size. Almost cried when I saw the price tag.

What actually ended up in my barn

After all that craziness? Found a refurbished 2015 model from a closed rice mill. Paid $2800 cash. Scratched all over but runs like a champ. Still cheaper than sparking eBay junk. Moral? Dig local first before drooling over Italian unicorns.