How I Tested 6 Washers in My Backyard

Started last Tuesday when my driveway looked like a moss farm after all that rain. Grabbed my notebook and drove to Home Depot first. Man, the pressure washer aisle was crazy - like 20 models stacked up shouting "buy me!" with their shiny boxes. The sales guy kept pushing this fancy German one, but I just took photos of specs like pressure numbers and hose lengths instead. Needed something to blast off my deck grime without wrecking the wood.

Next morning hit up Lowe’s across town. Saw WORX’s tiny neon-green washer first - thing looked like a toy. Sales lady swore it was light enough for her grandma to use. Then spotted this beastly Kärcher with all metal parts. Tried lifting it… nearly threw my back out. Their tags showed crazy differences too:

• WORX WG629: 120 Bar pressure, weights less than my cat
• Kärcher K7: 200 Bar pressure, could probably crush concrete
• Dongcheng DC-P03: basic but cost less than dinner for two

Wednesday I went full mad scientist mode. Borrowed neighbor Jim’s Ant washer (the yellow tank-looking thing) and compared with my old Greenworks. Sprayed my patio chairs with both:

• Ant model blasted chewing gum off concrete in seconds but sounded like a chainsaw
• Greenworks choked on the same gunk - pathetic dribble
• Leaked hose connection soaked my sneakers - still drying!

Thursday was crunch time. Saw online that electric models need higher flow rates for real cleaning. Tested that theory on my fence. WORX barely touched the bird poop stains at 6L/min flow. Kärcher’s 15L/min? Vanished in 3 seconds flat. Then got cocky and tried cleaning my truck tires with Dongcheng’s washer… hosed myself in the face when the kickback caught me off guard. Pro tip: wear goggles!

What Actually Worked (And What Died)

By Friday morning, my deck looked like a washer graveyard. Learned that bar pressure ain’t everything:

• Kärcher’s metal pump crushed all tests but cost more than my lawnmower
• Ant washer survived when I dropped it (twice!) - metal body didn’t dent
• WORX’s foam cannon actually worked great for car washing
• Dongcheng overheated after 20 minutes - smelled like burning plastic

Ended up dragging the Kärcher home after seeing that patent news about commercial-grade parts. Been blasting everything since last weekend - driveway looks new, patio furniture’s spotless. Still mad about those soggy shoes though.