Got the itch to finally figure out which dealership cleaning crew ain't just polishing turds and charging gold. Heard too many managers whining about cost but floors lookin' like a mud wrestling pit.

Step One: Roundin' Up The Usual Suspects

Hit up Yelp first, obvious stuff. Searched "dealership detailers" and "auto lot cleaning". Buncha fancy ads popped up, all "PREMIUM SERVICE" this and "INDUSTRY LEADERS" that. Yeah right. Picked three based on decent local reviews actually mentioning dealerships, not just Joe's Honda Civic. Called 'em all.

Callin' Chaos:

• Company Fancy Pants: Guy answers all smooth, transfers me twice. Finally get a quote after ten minutes: "$1,500 minimum per month, standard package." Nearly choked. Told 'em "maybe later" and hung up fast.
• Company Middle Road: Straight to voicemail. Called back later, got a lady who sounded busy but got the basics: "Typically start around $800 a month, depends on lot size." Okay, possible.
• Company Rough & Ready: Dude answers chewing something. "Yeah? Lot cleaning? Whatcha got?" Told him average mid-size lot. "Ah figure... $500 to $600 monthly, we clean twice a week, scrub entrances, windows." Asked about quality checks. "Clean truck, clean tools. You see dirt? Call my cell. Done." Simple.

Step Two: Demanding Proof (The Kicking Tires Part)

Didn't wanna just trust websites. Demanded pics of actual dealership work. Here's where it got stinky:

• Fancy Pants: Sent a flashy PDF portfolio. Looked like luxury car showrooms, not a working dealership service bay in sight. Suspicious.
• Middle Road: Took two days, emailed some decent iPhone pics. Showrooms looked clean, one lot shot looked... damp, maybe? Hard to tell.
• Rough & Ready: Got a text album an hour later. Mostly daytime shots. Showroom floors actually looked shiny. Lot had some wet tire marks but grime around drains was GONE. One pic was a truck bed with squeegees, mops, spray bottles – looked beat-up but functional, not filthy. Honest.

Step Three: The Sneak Test Drive

Figured I'd see 'em in action. Visited three different dealerships I knew used each service, early morning during their clean shift.

• Fancy Pants Lot: Two guys in crisp polos, detailing one new truck on the front line with microfiber cloths. Rest of the 200-car lot? Leaves piled against a fence, dusty hoods everywhere. Looked untouched. Felt like a scam.
• Middle Road Lot: Three person crew, moving okay. Vacuuming showroom mats good. But saw one guy half-ass mopping a back corner in service bay while another hid smoking near the dumpsters. Patchy effort.
• Rough & Ready Lot: Two guys hustling in beat-up work clothes. Pressure-washing the service lane entrance. Another guy inside scrubbing the coffee stain outta that ugly carpet near customer lounge with serious muscle. Water was black, stain lightened right up. Saw them move trash cans and sweep underneath. Sweaty, messy work, but actual dirt getting moved.

The Ugly Reality (& Why This Pissed Me Off)

Fancy Pants cost triple Rough & Ready and did maybe a tenth of the work. Middle Road cost 50% more for maybe 70% of the effort.

Funniest damn part? Talked to a manager buddy after. His head office INSISTED on Fancy Pants "for the branding." His techs constantly complain about grease patches and slipping on dirty floors. He knows it sucks. But corporate won't budge. Pays triple to literally look worse and be unsafe.

Why do I know this matters? Because I almost bought the Fancy Pants crap myself three years ago for a project. Saw the bill, choked. Went cheap locally, got burned by a fly-by-nighter. This time? Proof beats polish. Give me the guys with dirty trucks and clean floors every time. Managers wasting money on shiny brochures while their lots look neglected is a special kind of stupid.