Okay, so I finally got around to messing with my Karcher jet wash accessories. Been putting it off for ages, but the patio was looking like a swamp monster had taken up residence, so it was time to bite the bullet.

First thing I did was drag out the Karcher itself. It's been sitting in the shed all winter, gathering dust and probably spiderwebs. Gave it a quick once-over, made sure all the connections were tight-ish, and crossed my fingers it would actually start.

Then came the fun part: the accessories. I had a bunch of them kicking around – a patio cleaner thingy, a couple of different lances, and some random nozzles. Honestly, I had no clue what half of them actually did. This is where the experimentation started.

I started with the patio cleaner attachment. It's basically a big plastic disc with spinning jets underneath. The idea is it cleans a wide area without making a huge mess. Hooked it up, turned on the water, and… nothing. Just a pathetic dribble. Turns out, the nozzle was clogged with something nasty. Took it apart (carefully!), poked around with a toothpick, and finally got it flowing again. Lesson learned: check for clogs before you start!

Next, I tried the different lances. One was a standard variable pressure lance, which is pretty straightforward. Twist the nozzle to adjust the spray from a wide fan to a concentrated jet. The other one was a "dirt blaster" lance, which supposedly spins the water into a super-powerful stream. It sounded cool, but honestly, I couldn't tell much difference between it and the regular jet on full blast. Maybe my patio wasn't dirty enough?

The nozzles were the real mystery. I had a few different ones, each with a different spray pattern. One was a really wide fan, almost like a shower head. Another was a more focused jet. And then there was one that just seemed to spray water everywhere BUT where I wanted it. After some trial and error, I figured out that the wide fan was good for rinsing, the focused jet was good for stubborn spots, and the random-spraying one was good for… well, nothing, really. Maybe I'll throw it away.

Biggest takeaway from the day: Always test the accessories on a small, inconspicuous area first! I accidentally blasted a chunk of paint off my fence when I was messing around with the dirt blaster lance. Whoops.

I spent a good couple of hours jet washing the patio. It was actually kind of therapeutic, in a weird way. Watching the grime disappear under the force of the water was surprisingly satisfying. Plus, I learned a thing or two about my Karcher accessories. Now I just need to figure out where to store them all so they don't end up lost in the shed again.

• Make sure your connections are tight.
• Check for clogs before you start.
• Test accessories in a small area first.

Overall, a pretty productive afternoon. The patio looks a million times better, and I'm (slightly) less clueless about my Karcher jet wash accessories. Now, if only I could figure out how to use that foam cannon thingy…